The Mini-burger

FanFic in the Birmoverse

The Ayers Rock Affair (In Color!) by John Crist


YD2nd FanFic Festival entry posted November 30, 2006 at 2:30 PM
(Based on characters and situations created by John Birmingham, Mel Brooks, and Buck Henry)PART ONE

August 1954-Washington, DC

Vicente ‘Chief’ Rogas prepared for another day at the office. He hated not being able to do field work any more, but advancing age and a leg wound suffered in Occupied Japan back in ’49 slowed him down to the point where he figured he’d be more dangerous to himself than to any potential enemy. So President Stevenson and the Admiral set him up in charge of the COuNTeRintelligence Oversight CounciL, (CONTROL, for short), a group which dealt with matters that even Donovan’s folks at OSS wouldn’t or couldn’t touch. Since the Soviets collapsed in ’52, a lot a rather nasty splinter groups and terror organizations had started to sprout up around the world, and CONTROL’s mandate was to neutralize these groups however possible. The matter that the Admiral had briefed him on this morning sounded like it was going to be interesting.

Rogas got on the intercom to his assistant.

“Hey, Larrabee. I’ve got some work here. Is Agent 25 back fromLondon?”

“Uh, not yet,” Larrabee replied.

“Well, how about Agent 47?”

“He’s on vacation. He’s visiting his aunt inHoboken.”

The chief mentally ran down the list of list of available agents, and coming up mostly empty.

“Who is available, then?”

“Agent 86, Chief.”

That’s what I was afraid of, Rogas thought. “Get on the phone and tell him to get down here, Larrabee. And bring me a bottle of aspirin.”

“Do you have a headache, Chief?” Larrabee asked.

“Not yet, but I will soon.”

The blue Tucker Tiger roared around a corner near the Anacostia Barracks and pulled up in front of a nondescript three-story building. A rather short dark-haired man in a business suit got out of the car and walked briskly through the front door and down a flight of stairs toward what appeared to be a brick wall. As he strode toward the wall, it slid up to reveal a corridor and a steel door. He kept walking toward that door, which opened up to reveal still another corridor with a phone booth at the end. The man walked into the phone booth and dialed the number 949. He waited a bit, and the floor of the phone booth fell away…

…and CONTROL Agent 86, Maxwell Smart, FBI Academy class of 1940, did a pratfall on the floor of the lobby in front of Larrabee’s desk.

“I wish they’d get that elevator fixed,” he said in his somewhat nasal voice. “Someone could really get hurt”. He picked himself up and smoothed out the sleeves on his suit. He looked up to see an attractive young woman in a minidress coming toward him.

“Max!”

Agent 99 put her arms around the Agent and kissed him. “I just got in from Mumbai when Larrabee called and told me the Chief wanted to see me. I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but he told me this was important.”

“When the forces of evil raise their heads, the forces of niceness cannot rest.” Smart said.

“You wanted to see us, Chief?” Smart asked as they walked into the Chief’s office.

Well, no, Rogas thought as he said, “Yes. Sit down, Max, 99.” The Chief paused.

“It seems we have a situation which could present a clear and present danger to the entire world. What’s happened is-“

“Wait a minute,” said Smart. “If it’s that critical, perhaps we should use the Cone of Silence.”

“No!” Rogas replied. “That thing does not work!”

“But, Chief, we don’t know if your office has been bugged. For all we know, someone from SPECTRE or KAOS could be listening in on this right now. We could be compromising the mission as we speak, not to mention-“

“All right!” Rogas snapped as he felt the beginning of a truly monster headache forming. “We’ll use the Cone of Silence!” He pushed a button on his desk and two clear plastic hemispheres descended over Rogas’s and Smart’s heads.

The Chief was explaining the mission, but all Smart could see were Rogas’s lips moving like in an old silent movie.

“WHAT!” Smart yelled. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Rogas couldn’t hear what Smart was trying to say. “SPEAK UP! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“WHAT!”

“I SAID I COULDN’T HEAR YOU!”

“WHAT! SPEAK UP!”

99 watched the exchange for a moment, and when she saw that Rogas’s face was starting to turn crimson and the veins were popping out of his neck, she reached over and pushed the ‘RETRACT’ button.

“OH, NEVER MIND! AUSTRALIAN INTELLIGENCE WILL BRIEF YOU…” the Chief exclaimed.

“You don’t have to yell, Chief,” Smart said. “Are you feeling all right? Your face is really red.”

“Here’s the dossier! Study it. There’s a flight toCanberratomorrow. You two be on it!”

“You can count on us!” Smart exclaimed as he put his hand on the Chief’s desk, accidentally pushing a button. The Cone of Silence came crashing down upon Rogas’s head.

“Sorry about that, Chief!”

August 1954-Canberra, ACT,Australia

“Colonel, the Americans are here,” piped a voice from an intercom. “Shall I send them in?”

The director for the Australian Special Intelligence Branch spoke. “Please. And would you round up a cuppa for me? Thank you.”

Max and 99 were ushered into theDirector’s office. TheDirector, a man of medium height wearing the latest Savile Row suit, immaculate except for a small curry stain on the shirt, sat behind a large desk. In a chair in front of the desk sat a smallish man with a mustache wearing the uniform of a major in the Australian army.

“You would be the lady and gentleman we were expecting?” theDirector asked. “I’m Colonel Birmingham,Director of the ASIB, and this is Major Hawkes of the Australian Regiment.” The major nodded at the two.

“Maxwell Smart, director of…last year’s production of A Christmas Carol at the CONTROL holiday party. And this is Agent 99”. She smiled at theDirector and the Major.

“Pleasure”,Birminghamsaid. “I take it you’re familiar with the background of this case, but we’ll review it anyway.”

“When the Multi-National Force Transitioned to our world, there was a lot of information about various types of mind control drugs being used on certain populations. They thought that if one could place a large amount of this sort of drug in, say, a water supply, one could make that group of people more, how should I say, docile? Instead of having to fight through a group of crazed jihadists, one would simply walk in to that group with a disk of, perhaps, Muzak, play it, calm them down, and disarm them.”

“We have something like that in America that numbs minds”, Smart replied. “It’s called television!”

“Quite,” Birmingham said with a slight frown. “Pressing on. We have a scientist who was working on ‘reinventing’ such a formula at our State Research Laboratory in Woomera. His name is Dr. Christopher Darkman.” Birmingham pushed a file toward the two CONTROL agents. “You’ll find his bio and picture in there. Five days ago, he went missing. Two days ago, we received this videocassette. If you’d be so kind, Major?”

Hawkes pushed the PLAY button. The picture of a man wearing a leather coat sitting in front of a logo of a vulture clutching the globe appeared. A large enforcer type stood to one side behind him.

“KAOS, the international organization of evil!” 99 exclaimed.

“That’s right, 99”, Max said. “And that’s Siegfried, KAOS’s Vice President of Public Relations and Terror. I’d recognize him anywhere!”

“Good day,Director,” came a German-accented voice. “As you know, ve have heard that your scientist, Dr. Darkman, has come up missing.”

“Ja, missing”, said the enforcer.

“Such a pity that you cannot find him. Ve in KAOS have, unfortunately for you, found him.” Siegfried said.

“We found him,” repeated the large man.

“He is a person of great value, vouldn’t you say? Perhaps 50 million of your dollars valuable? It vould be a shame if all the knowledge he had fell into the wrong hands.”

“Oh, a great shame,” the hulk said, laughing.

“Shtarker!” Siegfried yelled. “Silence! Zis is KAOS! Ve don’t repeat things here!”

Shtarker shut up.

“You have one veek from the receipt of this cassette to deliver the finder’s fee, or else ve vill assume you are no longer interested in his services and ve vill keep him for ourself. Thank you. Have a nice day.” The image turned into static.

“So there we are. The Prime Minister has stated that he will not negotiate with these people.” Birmingham continued. “ Although we hate to ask for help, we know you Americans have dealt with this organization in the past. If you can help us locate our missing scientist, Major Hawkes can have an SAS team anywhere in the country on 12 hours’ notice should you require backup.”

“Of course we’ll assist where we can,” Smart said. “The forces of evil cannot be allowed to-“ A telephone ring echoed through the room.

“Your shoe appears to be ringing, Mr. Smart.” Major Hawkes said.

“Uh, yes, excuse me while I take the call.” Max pulled off the loafer, turned the sole to reveal the earpiece and rotary dial, and removed the heel to talk.

“Hello?” A pause. “No. You have the wrong number. This is a loafer.” Max hung up the phone and put it back on. “Someone was trying to dial an Oxford”.

“That’s astounding!” Birmingham exclaimed. “What you Yanks won’t think of! So, do you think you can track down this Siegfried character? You’ll be in extreme danger every minute, I tells ya! Risking your life at every moment!”

“…And loving it!” Max exclaimed. “Come on, 99. We’ve got work to do. We’ll be in touch!”

“Actually,” Hawkes interjected, “if you wouldn’t mind waiting outside, I’ll escort you to our lab here so we can kit you both out with a couple of devices the boys have bodged together.”

“And thank you,”Birminghamsaid. “Australiais very fortunate to have allies like you!”

Max and 99 left.Birminghamturned to Major Hawkes.

“Bloody seppos,” said theDirector.

“There goes the neighborhood,” replied Hawkes.

August 1954-Canberra, ACT, Australia

Major Hawkes escorted CONTROL agents Maxwell Smart and 99 down a hall towards a door labeled CLEANING SUPPLIES. He swiped a passkey down a slot, and the door slid open to reveal a sprawling laboratory, machine shop, and test range.

“We have a couple of special devices for you both to use.” The Major handed a large digital watch to Max and a smaller ladies version to 99.

Max examined the watch. “Say, these are nice! But CONTROL personnel aren’t allowed to accept gifts…”

“THEY’RE NOT GIFTS!” Hawkes snapped. “These watches cost the Australian taxpayer $12,000 each. So we’d like them back!”

“And I thought our government overpaid for things!” Max exclaimed.

Hawkes rolled his eyes. Give me strength, he thought. “These timepieces contain a homing beacon which, when activated, will allow our SAS team to track your whereabouts. They’re fairly complex to use, so listen carefully.”

“Now, to activate these, press button A twice, then press button B three times. If you happen to be underwater or underground, you can boost the power at the cost of battery life. To do that, press button B once, button A twice, then press button C. Do you understand these instructions?”

“Not all of them,” Max said.

“What part didn’t you understand?” Hawkes asked.

“The part right after ‘So listen carefully…’”

Hawkes growled in a low tone. This is the best America could send? “OK. First. Press button-“

“I’ll explain it to him.” 99 said. “I read about these in Popular Spy Devices last month.”

Just then a female sergeant came in and handed a paper to Major Hawkes. He looked at the message form.

“Uluru!” he said.

“Gesundheit.”

“No, no,” Hawkes said. “This message-it reads ‘ULURU IS BASE-13’. This might be a break for us.”

“What is this Uluru?” Max asked.

“It’s also known as Ayers Rock. Perhaps this KAOS has their hideout nearby!”

“Is it far from here?” 99 asked. “It sounds like a good place to start our search for Dr. Darkman. Max and I could pose as tourists and look around for a secret hideout.”

“I’ve got it!” Max said. “99 and I could pose as tourists and look around for a secret hideout!”

99 frowned. “Good thinking, Max!” she said with a touch of sarcasm.

“I’ll get transport arranged for you both this arvo,” Hawkes said. “I’ll also assemble a backup squad.” He thought for a minute “Let’s see, for this, we’ll need Savo, Murpho, Denno, Stevo, and Rabinowitz. I’ll be in touch when we have a plane ready. If you’d like, I’ll drive you to your hotel, but I promised the wife I’d be home by 7 tonight. You see, she insists that we both watch Dancing With Celebrities. Another fine American import.”

“Is that show popular here, too?” Max asked.

“Oh, the whole country shuts down for Dancing With Celebrities. You wouldn’t believe it.”

August 1954, Ayers Rock, Northern Territory, Australia

The Friendly Tours bus pulled up to the visitor center at Ayers Rock. The door opened and a young man dressed in khakis and wearing the ubiquitous digger slouch hat hopped in to address the tour group. His nametag read LOBES-TOUR GUIDE.

He smiled at the group. “AWRIGHT!” he barked. “I’m only sayin’ this once, so shut your gobs and listen up!”

“Welcome to Ayers Rock. Don’t climb on the rock! We’ve only just polished it! Don’t take pictures of the rock! The natives don’t like it! Don’t take any pebbles or stones! You’ll be cursed if you do! Don’t trash up the place! This is not your back yard! If you see a snake, don’t touch it because it will kill you! Stay with the tour group! My shift ends at 4, and if you think I’m wasting time searching for someone, you’re mistaken! I got a date in town tonight, and you lot ain’t spoilin’ it, see!”

He continued. “When we get back here to the bus, I’ll be offering postcards for sale. I’m working my way through uni doing this and I could use the money. Purchase is voluntary-but if you don’t pony up for some cards, Bangar here-“ Lobes jerked a thumb at the bus driver- “might have a problem with the air conditioning on the trip back to Alice-400 kilometers away. Think about it!”

“Now when you get off the bus, line up SINGLE FILE! And then we’ll make our way to the rock. Thank you.” Lobes tromped off the bus, muttering something about “sorry-ass tourists”.

“Boy!” Max said to 99 as they stood up to exit the bus. “If this is Friendly Tours, I’d hate to see the rest of the tour outfits!”

The two agents brought up the rear of the line of tourists. As they walked past a trashcan, they heard a voice.

“Psst! Max! 99!”

Max looked around to see where the voice was coming from. A face appeared from the slot on the trash bin.

“Agent 13! What are you doing here?”

“I was on vacation, and the Chief contacted me to assist. So here I am.” 13 said.

“Are you OK in there?” 99 asked. “Do you need anything?”

“Oh, it’s not so bad. This bin gets warm in the afternoon, and it smells like stale Vegemite in here. But there is plenty of food.” 13 held the remnants of an egg salad sandwich out to Max. “Want a bite?”

“Uh, no. Thanks.” Max said. “13, what tipped you off that there might be a KAOS hideout near here?”

“First, there’s been an unusual amount of heavy truck traffic in and out of the area. Second, I’ve picked up a lot of strange radio signals near here. Third, look at that sign over there.”

They turned to read the sign:

AYERS ROCK VISITOR CENTRE

OPERATED BY KAOS, PTY LTD.

Better Living Through Oppression’

August 1954, KAOS Secret Base, Northern Territory,  Australia

Shtarker was looking at a monitor attached to a camera that was sweeping the area around the big rock. He stopped as the camera picked up what appeared to be a man and a woman talking to a trash bin.

“Siegfried, come see this. It is most interesting.”

The German KAOS operative (Abwehrschule class of 1941, 312th of 312) walked over to Shtarker.

“Vhat is it, Shtarker. This had better not be another kangaroo again. This country is full of them!” Siegfried looked at the screen.

“Hmmm.” Siegfried thought a bit. “I believe our little enterprise has attracted the attention of the busybodies of CONTROL. And I believe the man talking to the bin is none other than Maxwell Smart!”

“How can you tell?” Shtarker asked.

“First, the man appears to have an FBI Academy ring like Smart wears. Second, I believe that is the Agent, 99. Where she is, Smart is nearby. And finally, HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE TALKING TO A TRASH BIN, DUMMKOPF!”

Siegfried pulled out a Walther P-38. “Shtarker, grab a gun. Ve’ll go through the tunnel to the visitor center. Schnell!”

“Max, we’d better catch up with the rest of the group. We don’t want to get left behind here.” 99 said.

The agents rounded a corner of the visitor center building, when they heard the metallic snicks of two hammers cocking.

“You see, Shtarker? It is the famous Maxwell Smart and the lovely 99! You would both hand over your veapons and put up your hands, bitte.”

August 1954-Northern  Territory, Australia

Max and 99 pulled their CONTROL issue Glock2 Minis from holsters and purses and dropped them on the ground. Shtarker scooped up the discarded weapons.

“Come along, please,” Siegfried said.

The four trooped into the Visitor  Center building. Once inside, Siegfried walked up to a soda machine. He pushed the Dr. Pepper button three times, and the Fanta button once. The machine slid out to reveal a stairway. The KAOS agent gestured for Max and 99 to go down the stairs. Once Siegfried and Shtarker entered, the pop machine slid back into place.

“Of course!” Max exclaimed. “The old ‘Entrance to the Secret Base Behind The Vending Machine’ Trick! That’s the second time this week!”

They walked past various processing machines, control consoles, and laboratories.

Pipes ran overhead and power cables were strung along the roughly hewn walls of the underground complex. It was obvious that some sort of large-scale production had taken place recently.

The CONTROL agents were escorted into a laboratory. Seated at a bench was none other than-

“Dr. Darkman!” 99 gasped.

“We’ll get you out of this, Doctor!” Max said as he turned to Siegfried. “You’ll never get away with this! Would you believe that as we speak, 10,000 crack Australian troops are surrounding this building! 10,000 men, Siegfried!”

“I find that difficult to believe,” Siegfried replied.

“Oh. Well, would you believe 5,000 troops?”

Siegfried shook his head.

“Would you believe three rabid wallabies?”

“Silence!” exclaimed Siegfried. “Our vork here is nearly complete. Before long, the leaders of the major powers of the Free World will be under our mental control. You see, the facility ve’ve valked through has produced enough Verizine mind control drug to keep the populations of the United States, Britain, and Australia mind-numbed for the next ten years, thanks to the efforts of Herr DoktorDarkman”.

“You don’t mean…” 99 said.

Dr. Darkman reached into a drawer and pulled out an old Webley revolver. “Yes, my dear. I’m now working for KAOS.”

“But why?” Smart asked.

“You try making a living on the pittance the Government pays its scientists!” Darkman yelled. “You try working with marginal equipment in a laboratory in the middle of bloody nowhere! When KAOS approached me last year, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse!”

“That’s right,” Siegfried said. “We offered him the standard KAOS agent package- $75,000 per year, a villa in Provence…”

“Wait a minute, Siegfried. You mean to tell me that’s the standard package?” Max asked. “We only get $50,000 a year and a time-share in Orlando.”

The German continued. “Three weeks vacation…”

“We only get two weeks!”

“Free medical and dental insurance…”

“I’ve got a $250 deductible!” Max said to Siegfried. “Say, who does your negotiating, anyway?”

Siegfried pulled out a business card, which read:

ROSENHAUS AND BORES

Superagents

SPORTS-CELEBS-TERROR GROUPS

Los Angeles, South California 555-1212

            “They negotiated our Basic Agreement with KAOS management last year. The only thing Management got was a salary cap to be phased in over the next five years.” Siegfried said with pride. “However, I fail to see how this would concern you, since you in all likelihood won’t be alive to see the dawn tomorrow!”

“We have no fear, Siegfried. Not of you or your trained ape, Shtarker!” Max launched himself at the KAOS henchman, landing a flurry of punches to the gut of the big man, followed up by several furious karate chops to the neck.

Shtarker stood like a stone, oblivious to the assault. Max stepped back and smoothed the lapels on Shtarker’s coat.

“Uh, listen. I hope I wasn’t out of line with that ‘trained ape’ crack a few moments ago…” Smart said as Shtarker landed a chop to the side of Max’s neck.

Darkness.

Max awoke to find himself tied securely to a wooden chair. 99 was similarly bound next to him.

“Are you all right?” 99 asked.

Max shook his head as if to clear cobwebs. “I hope someone took the number of that truck…”

99 looked around the room they were imprisoned in. It appeared to be some sort of worker’s lounge when there was a full crew at the complex. There was a couch, a coffee maker, and a television in the corner. She looked for something that might aid in their escape, but any obvious items didn’t appear to be in sight.

At that moment, Dr. Darkman and the two KAOS men walked in.

“Vell, Herr Smart, fraulein 99. Vhile it is always a pleasure to match vits vith you both, I’m afraid our time here is at an end, as I believe is yours.” Siegfried said. “You see, this facility is to be destroyed at midnight tonight. Unfortunately, you will also be here. I’m sorry. Auf Wiedersehen.”

99 caught a glimpse of a wall clock and a desperate plan fell into place. “Wait a minute, Siegfried! Can we have one last request?”

“For you, dear lady, of course. What do you request?”

“It’s nearly 7pm. Could you turn on the TV to Dancing With Celebrities? One last show before we…you know.”

Shtarker turned on the set. The ABC logo disappeared and the beginning theme to the hit show came on.

Many old reality shows were saved in the vast computer networks of the Multi-National Force ships, and the newly formed television networks snapped them up as cheap programming. The people of the 1940s and 1950s seemed to take to the bizarre programs as much as 21st century westerners did. Many of these shows were reworked with contemporary themes, hosts, and players.

“Live from Los Angeles, this is Art Linkletter for Dancing with Celebrities, brought to you by Crosley Computers! Tonight, we have the finals of this season’s competition. Our celebrity panel and our studio audience have picked these two couples to compete for the $10,000 first prize! Our finalists really need no introduction, unless you’ve been counting trees in Siberia!” The audience laughed, cued by an APPLAUSE sign. “But if you have, here we go!”

“Our first couple is Dodger leftie pitcher and 1951 Cy Young winner Fidel Castro and his partner and instructor, Natalie!” The Cuban stepped out and waved to the crowd. He was wearing a white open collared shirt and blue dress pants. Natalie was wearing a blaze orange dress with two slits up each side, a slit down the front, and not much in between.

“Their competition is that star of stage and screen, you know her, you love her, Lucille Ball, and her partner, Michael!” Both Lucille and Michael were dressed in casual style.

Linkletter continued. “Fidel and Natalie will be doing a mambo to that classic bringover song- Tequila! Lucille and Michael will be performing a swing to The Four Aces’ remake of Rock This Town! Are you ready, dancers and orchestra?”

As the band launched into the song and Fidel and Natalie strutted their stuff, Siegfried, Shtarker, and Darkman started to get absorbed in the program. They inched over to the couch and were making comments on the dancers and their performance.

99 was able to touch Max’s hand. She made as if to hold his hand, then worked her hand onto his wrist. She flicked her fingers in a certain way.

“99, do you think this is the right time for this?” Max whispered.

Meanwhile, the KAOS men were by now engrossed in the program.

“That Castro, he’s a lucky bloke,” Darkman said.

“They are very smooth out there,” Siegfried agreed.

“Their breaks and chausses are perfect, and their Cuban motion is crisp. No wasted movement.” Shtarker said. Darkman and Siegfried looked at Shtarker.

“I’m more than just a handsome face,” he said.

Now it was the turn of Lucille and Michael.

“You know, I vas the Abwehrschule jitterbug champion,” Siegfried said.

“I’ll put five bucks on Lucy and Michael here.” Darkman said to Shtarker.

“You’re on, Doctor.”

“I didn’t know she was a dancer,” Max piped in. “I thought that Eisenhower guy was good with his waltz a couple of weeks ago!”

The two numbers flew by and emcee Linkletter reappeared. “Our celebrity panel has voted and we have a winner, which we’ll announce-right after these messages from our sponsor!”

“I hope they hurry,” Darkman said. “I really have to use the little boys room.”

After what seemed like ten minutes of commercials, the program resumed.

“And the winner of the 1954 season of Dancing With Celebrities is…. Fidel and Natalie!” The couple smiled and took a bow. Darkman gave Shtarker the five dollars.

Siegfried shut off the television. “Now. Vhere vere ve? Ah yes. Smart, 99, I’m afraid it’s time for us to…”

“Surrender.”

Siegfried turned to see the barrel of an SAS issue VLe 24 handgun. Major Hawkes and his black-clad commando team stood there covering the KAOS men. The agents dropped their weapons and raised their hands. Savo, Stevo, and Rabinowitz applied cuff ties.

“Major!” Max exclaimed. “How long have you been here?”

“About fifteen minutes,” Hawkes replied. “Didn’t you hear us blow up the vending machine and destroy the equipment in this facility?”

“I was able to activate your homing beacon when the show came on.” 99 said to Max.

“We must have been into the program as much as Siegfried and his men.”

“Savo, please release these two.” He cut the ropes, and Max and 99 arose.

“Oh, and one more thing.” Hawkes held out his hand. “The watches, please.”

August 1954-Canberra, ACT, Australia

Max, 99, and ‘Chief’ Rogas sat in Colonel Birmingham’s office.

“You’ll be pleased to know that all of the Verizine mind control drug shipments have been intercepted and accounted for, and the plot has been completely crushed. Siegfried and Dr. Darkman will be in prison for rather a long time, I’d think. All in all, a successful conclusion to this entire sad affair.” Birmingham said. “Chief, I’d like to offer thanks on behalf of the Prime Minister and the Australian government. Your agents are quite unorthodox in their methods.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Rogas said. ‘Bumbling’ would be another way of putting it, he thought.

“If I may say, Colonel,” Max said, “you have a really nice office here. That’s quite a view out the window.” Max walked toward the window. He tripped on a corner of the carpet and stumbled, grabbing the window curtain, which fell down onto a staff with the Australian flag on it. The staff fell forward toward Colonel Birmingham and ‘Chief’ Rogas. Max tried to grab the staff to no avail. The large flag coveredBirmingham and Rogas. The staff hit the desk with a loud BANG!!

“MAX!!” came a muffled yell from under the flag.

CONTROL Agent 86 turned to 99. He held up his thumb and forefinger up with an eighth of an inch between them.

“Missed it by THAT much!” he exclaimed.

THE END

 

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9 September, 2011 - Posted by | Axis of Time

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