The Mini-burger

FanFic in the Birmoverse

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good weekend.- posted 12/22/05

Well, here we are then, back in Brissy. (I’ve accepted that ‘vegas is just confusing for too many people).

I stepped out of the cab at the house mid evening a few nights ago and the steam press humidity slammed down, driving me deep into my own personal history. I spent the first twenty-five years of my life up here and it was scary to feel the deep tissue memory of living in the tropics come rushing back up out of whatever deep dark crevice I’d jammed it into so many years ago.

The screeching of crickets (cicadas). The sweet, almost gagging smell of jasmine and oleander. The flap of fruit bats wings. The rattle of christmas beetles and the scitter and cough of geckoes on the roof. It was like I was Martin Sheen in the first five minutes of Apocalypse Now, except it was brisbane, not saigon. Felt like I should pour whiskey all over myself and roll on the floor.

But I didn’t. I rolled down the hill to the pub and had a nice cold beer. They brew their own in the tavern on oxford street in bulimba and it was pretty good. Crisp, not too gassy, with a clean bite. Coulda had many more but had to get back to the dog and the cats who’d just had a very traumatic flight up from canberra. There was no furnitutre besides a new bed, so the family was at jane’s mum’s place.

We’re living on top of a high hill, next to a big patch of remnant sub-tropical rainforest. I can see out to the river from the rear balcony and the western edge of the city from the front.

It’s hot as hell, as the local cheeseburgers would know. But I’ve been slowing down my metabolism, thinking in a drawl, and moving very slowly between rooms.

I doubt I’ll get back online b4 christmas, so i’d like to thank y’all for dropping in thru the year and for your comments, contributions and surprisingly refined manners. Must be all those southern gentlemen from the great state of Texas setting the tone.

Eat well, drink lots, and be kind to those you love. I’ll catch up after the big day.


From deleted_member on 12/21/05


Catchya John. You’ll soon get used to living in air like cold honey again.


From Lobes on 12/21/05


Birmos gone troppo.

Time to slip back into the uniform of stubbies and thongs (now thats gonna confuse people)


From badg3er on 12/22/05


sarongs and bare feet here.

no aircon in this house — just 2 fans blowing full tilt all night everynight over the bed.

Cheers John, thanks for making me welcome here.

BTW do you have a chorus of Butcher birds, lorikeets and kookas waking you up? We have a couple of families of butchers that get meat from us occasionally that wake me every morning at 4:20am – (steadily marching backward in time with the sun)- which is great as its a much better song to wake to than the horrid farking alarm that goes off at 4:30.

BTW you know xmas is supposed to be a melter at 37 dont you?


From MickH on 12/22/05


Merry Christmas John and to all Cheeseburgers, I hope you have a very merry and enjoyable day with your loved ones.

I have to go to Dalby on Xmas day to the sister-in-laws place, probably be about 43 there Badg3er! Lucky she put one of those evaporative condtioners in last week. They work really well there apparently.

I agree with Badg3er too, I am only very new here but you all have made me feel welcome.



From alcones1 on 12/22/05


John, I wish you a very Merry Christmas!


From Tabman on 12/22/05


You’re making me jealous … I’m only three weeks back from a month in Indooropilly and Noosa 😦

All the best for Christmas and good luck with the restoration.


From AllanLeroy on 12/22/05


A “Gentleman” from Texas? now that sir, if you know your history is quite a stretch…But on that note, Merry Christmas to you my dear antipodean friend and many happy returns
Allan Folsom


From SFMurphy on 12/22/05


I figure it is the sidearms that most Texans consider to be a fashion statement that make things so, ahem, civil around here.

John, you should post some pictures of your new digs and the surrounding area.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Northtown, Missouri


From Mike P. on 12/22/05


Merry Christmas to you, John, your family, and everyone else here.

It’s good to hear you made the move all right and are getting settled in.

Mike P.


From ajdenny on 12/22/05


Merry Christmas John – Best wishes for your family, and that next year The Good War kicks some literary ass. Here’s to you becoming the 21st Century Australian Hemingway, the David Malouf or Carey who is entertaining to read.


From savo on 12/22/05


Merry Christmas all. 2.1 has been making good Chrissy prezzies, its on special at K-Mart for about $10. Time to indoctrinate all those friends and relatives who havn’t been reading Aussie authors.



From MickH on 12/23/05


This from an email I got the other day. Pretty amazing, makes spell checkers obsolete:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.


From dread73 on 12/23/05



A mate recommended your books to me last week, saw the first one on special at K-Mart so i picked it up for a song….well $10 actually and I couldn’t put it down. Managed to finish it in 10 hours and at about 4am…running my own IT business I gave myself the day off….which is what owning your own business is all about…but I digress.

I managed to pick up 2.2 yesterday and just finished it 5 minutes ago …. and its 2:57am, but I just wanted to say that your books have blown me away. I literally cannot put them down. I’m in the shit with the missus as my two year old now has a black eye from her 6 year old sister since I was doing such a piss poor job of looking after them because I was reading your bloody book! I tried blaming you but it wouldn’t wash with the missus…..

I’m brand spanking new to your site, so I’ll ask the question that you’ve no doubt been asked plenty of times before….how long before we can expect 2.3 to be in my filthy little hands?

Welcome back to Brisvegas by the way, hasn’t changed much, its still stinking bloody hot, the beer is still ball chillingly cold, theres still to many bloody Mexicans moving up here and theres still dickheads running the place 🙂 Nice spot Bulimba, its been yuppified over the years, full of professional near do wellers who visit the chiropractor to releive back pain from carrying around wallets that are far too heavy :p

Have a happy and safe Chrissy and New Year and thanks for two exceptionally good books 🙂



From Bangar on 12/23/05


Just remember if we’re Mexicans that makes you lot Seppos


From Vallon Davis on 12/24/05


Merry Christmas and all the best for 2006. Looking forward to the new book in the new year.

Vallon Davis


From savo on 12/27/05


(NOTE: the comment below is not actually from a journalspace member. Their IP has been logged.)

Well what a Christmas. Some nice presents, nice company GREAT lunch not much religion though, just a passing referrence. No disaster struck the world.
Farewell Kerry Packer, didn’t know him but he sure did a lot of things and farwell to John Gill for that matter, ( a close friend and hero to his kids ) he did a lot of things too but didn’t make the national news.

Looking forward to New Year, time to kill a whole heap more brain cells, potentially make an arse of myself and to generally have a good time.

New Years resolution:
Loose weight
get fit
don’t moan about being pensioned off
don’t moan too much about Last Good War taking so long to be published.

Any others?

dread73- 2.3 The Last Good War, will be out next year, I get the feelin about September. Looong time to wait. Maybe if you ask Birmo nicely he’ll given you an early copy. I had similar problems with my wife about reading it too. It certainly is well written well paced and leaves you wanting more. Heaps of little side bits you know Birmo must have heavily researched but because of the scope of the novels they just can’t be detailed.


From savo on 12/27/05


(NOTE: the comment below is not actually from a journalspace member. Their IP has been logged.)

Aw crap I’ve been Sanction 5’d again. Just what is Sanction 5? S.4 is field execution Does S.5 take out your family and friends?


From Brandon Clark on 12/27/05


Sanction 5. hmmm, maybe being seen hugging Michael Jackson could be considered a Sanction 5… Perhaps torture for the sake of torture before an execution and everything is recorded for later distribution?
Sanction 5 may just be a political snatch and grab for interrogation and later execution. A katana up the arse seems a fitting end to some Japanese officer who murders non-combatants and committs war-crimes.
I am sure some up-time sailor has a stash of Bukkake porn, it should be printed onto leaflets and dropped over Japanese occupied territory….


From dread73 on 12/27/05


I’m thinking a Ssanction 5 is being made to listen to Britney Spears for 24 hours…..but I could be wrong….it might be Jessica Simspon…

Savo: September….nah thats not long…try being a Robert Jordan fan 🙂


From Birmo on 12/28/05


Hey y’all. Just a quick note. I’m typing this in the library at Bulimba. It’ll be Jan 5 b4 I get my net access back on at at home. Hope everyone had a great christmas and that everyone north of the equator kept warm and everyone south stayed cool.


From alcones1 on 12/28/05


John, glad you are warm in Vegas, here in Connecticut is freezing cold..


From ajdenny on 12/30/05


I wish I was in Connecticut. Here without air conditioning, looking after elderly loved ones and finding somewhere I can write without feeling like my head’s been microwaved is a full time gig.


From Flanker_Driver on 12/30/05


Badg3er – Butcher birds… are they the birds with the distictive three-note call? I vaguely remember them from my childhood in the Riverland area in South Australia, but don’t know if I’ve got the correct bird?

The bird call which will be heard loud and clear from me in the upcoming NFL playoffs will be… GO SEEEEEEEAHAWKS!! I’ve barracked for them for 21 years, since I first ‘discovered’ American football, and in that time we have yet to win a single playoff game, so I’m NOT counting chickens, however, just quietly confident.


From berlin-walrus on 01/02/06


That made me miss Brisbane. And I still live there, technically.

Happy belated celebrations etc.



From McKinneyTexas on 01/09/06


Gentlemen? From Texas? No way! But, since the subject came up, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! Regards.


From amber on 01/23/06


ok so i tried, i tried to read all of the previous entries in your journal, it took a few days, i got confused and tired, and had to have some little liedowns, and maybe i missed some entries somewhere but i could not find the answer to my question. and my question is: JB, why did you move back to Brisbane? Craig was full of all kinds of practical answers like, closer to the grandparents and cheaper real estate. So is that it? Have you taken up a career in bridge building?
See I’ve got this theory that Brisbane is a modern day embodiment of some kind of evil Aboriginal entity who was the spirit of the land. People were never meant to actually live here because it was a meeting place, you came, you chat, and you left. But now, because people live here, the spirit of Brisbane creeps into our souls, and we can never leave without some really complicated vision quest scenario where we subdue the spirit and make allies with it. Then we can leave.


From Birmo on 01/23/06


Amber I moved back to Brisbane because it was convenient. I have an apartment just a minutes walk from the water’s edge in Bondi. i love that apt. indeed I have an unhalthy, possibly pathological fixation on that apt. But it’s too small now that I have two kids.

When i sold the Weapons trilogy I had to park the money somewhere. It ended up going into an old Queenslander in Balmoral. For now reason really. It was just a good buy. Then, after five years of lving as parents a long way from any relatives, jane and I decided our spritis were broken. We needed to be closer to aunties, uncles and grand parents so that we could at least get outta the fucking door for a date once or twice a year. They all lived in Brisbane.

My work is transportable. Jane’s less so. Late last year she got a tansfer to vegas. And her we are.

But you might be right about the whole evil spirit thing too.


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: